This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
