It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
