It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
