his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
