It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
