i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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