It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
