you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
