Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
