I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
