Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
