my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
