i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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