Can Purell be used as lube?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize