ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
