I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
All the doctor said was why
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
