Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
