This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
