Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
