so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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