no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
