i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
