brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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