I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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