dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
