I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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