Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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