I think scott just propositioned me for sex
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
