Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
