A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
