All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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