hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
