Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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