he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
