I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
