Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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