i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
