please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
