Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Terrible idea I love it
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
