The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
