i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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