he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
