Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
