It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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