I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
