YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
