Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
