I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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