Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
