You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
