What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
